


When I'm with you

by Egotron_boy



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Cutting, Deppression, Egobang - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, Gay, Jealousy, M/M, Sad, Smut, Suiside, Support, hidng, loving
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:35:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 6,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23623252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Egotron_boy/pseuds/Egotron_boy
Summary: Dan is having trouble focusing while Arin Barry and Ross make gay jokes. Dan takes it a bit to far and Arin finally listens.
Relationships: Dan Avidan/Arin Hanson, Suzy Berhow/Arin Hanson
Comments: 6
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

Arin, Barry, Ross and Dan are all out eating at Texas Roadhouse. Dan wasn't too hungry and everyone else was laughing. "So, Ross, you've heard of the D club right?" "Uh-no. No I don't think I have." Barry and Arin laughed and Barry said "You have got to hear it, Arin?" "So me a bunch of guys like docked and shit, at some points we would give each other hand jobs. Funny how we're straight right?" "Are you sure you don't want to suck a dick Arin?" Ross and Barry were laughing their asses off while Dan just sat there, he was quiet the whole evening. Arin said, "Dan! you've been quiet! What's up buddy?" "You shouldn't say those thing guys, it's offensive." Ross said, "What? Who in the hell is gay here? I sure as fuck ain't Arin isn't and Barry isn't. And last time I check I haven't seen you in the grumps bathroom sucking Arin off!" Everyone except Dan burst into laughter as Dan still kept that stern look on his face. Dan stood up and walked out. "Where ya going Dan!" Ross smacked his hand on the table as all of them kept laughing. Arin put 120$ on the table and said "Alright I'm going home for the night...see ya tomorrow." Arin caught up with Dan. "Hey why so fucking up tight tonight Dan?" "Fuck you Arin! You know I hate it when you talk about that shit!" "Woah Dan, chill out I'm sorry." Dan pushed Arin back and said "Stay the fuck away from me!" Arin just stood there, "We have work tomorrow Dan!" "Fuck it!" Dan walked away. Arin waited a bit before going home. Dan walked in the door. "Hey Dan how was-" "Fuck off Suzy." Arin walked in after. Suzy whispered "What's wrong with him?" "I have no idea, he's probably pissed off." Suzy ran her finger through her hair as she stood up. "Yeah I suppose-" Arin kissed Suzy. "Arin.." Arin smiled at her as she kissed him back. "I'll make you feel better baby." Arin said. Suzy and Arin went into the bedroom as Dan watched from the corner of his room. Dan sighed as he pulled out his razor blade. He left his door open but his lights were off. Dan lifted up his sleeve and said to himself, "Day 7,300." Dan sighed again as he felt that addictive but burning pain and the cold blood run to his hand. Dan rubbed his face getting some blood on his nose. Dan curled up in a ball as he cried.


	2. Chapter 2

Dan woke up feeling warm, he jumped up as he felt a worse pain than yesterday. He rolled u his sleeve and looked, "Shit, I cut again." He thought. Dan took off his clothes leaving him in his white boxers. He scoured through his draws in search of a long sleeve shirt. Finally he found one, alas, it was a black long sleeve. Dan sighed as he was forced to wear a short sleeve. Dan grabbed his Rush shirt and a pair of long jeans. He knew he was going to burn up, but it was worth not having to deal with the unwanted attention. Dan put his clothes on top of the toilet. He looked himself in the mirror, anger boiled in him as he couldn't keep the secret for much longer, that or he would have to resign; but he didn't want to resign, far from it. Dan discarded his underwear as he stepped into the shower. He wiped the access water off of his face. Rubbing his hand over his cut wound. Dan groaned as the pain was still aching. He squirted some shampoo onto his hand as he weaved his long hands through his hair. He scrubbed every part of his head making sure you get the grease out. He rinsed all the soap out of his hair and lightly doused his head with conditioner. As he quickly rinsed again he grabbed the bar of soap and spread it around his chest. "God, what am I doing to myself? Cutting? Again? What's the worst that can happen.....never mind. " Dan thought, he started having anxiety again. He used to have it as a teenager, now it's coming back. The only reason he had anxiety as a kid was because his dad, Avi, always tried to get him into sports or try to get him to do something. It was a bit of pressure. It started affecting his job too, he started to get more agitated with Arin, and he started missing work. It only started really affecting him when Arin started yelling at Dan, questioning him as to why he has been missing work. His anxiety brought back cutting. Another thing he used to do as a kid. Dan got out of the shower, wiping his drenched hair. He put on a fresh pair of underwear, followed by his jeans. He slipped on his Rush shirt and then combed out his hair. Dan picked up his toothbrush, thinking about going to work. Dan put his toothbrush down and just grabbed the mouthwash bottle, he drank some. Putting the bottle down, his arms were still exposed. Dan grabbed his leather Jacket and swiftly put it on. Dan grabbed his razor, wallet and Phone before slamming his door shut. Dan grabbed his car keys and drove off to the office, dreading the day ahead of him.


	3. Chapter 3

Dan pulled into the parking lot of the office. Dan rubbed his face as he got out. Dan stuffed the keys into his pocket pulling the door open. Dan walked in, very vacant, then again it was only 6:00 in the morning. Arin, Barry and Suzy were obviously there but thank god he couldn't see them. He glanced over at the recording room and saw all of them. He vanished into his office shutting the door. Arin heard the door shut, getting out of his seat Barry said "Hey, Where are you going?" Arin turned around too busy focusing on the sound rather than Barry's question. "Hmm?" "Where are you going Arin?" "Uh, just outside. See if Jorey or Kev is here yet." Barry nodded. Arin went out to the editing bay of the office and walked around a bit. He knocked on Dan's office as Dan was writing his new song. Arin pushed his body up against the door frame. "Hey." Dan jumped out of his chair. "Gah! Don't fucking do that to me Arin!" Arin laughed lightly. His laughed died down as Dan stared at him. "I don't get why your fucking laughing Arin. I'm not laughing. Now leave me the fuck alone." Dan rolled his shoulder back as he went back to writing. "Why are you so pissed off? Did something happen." Dan stood up with a stern look, face to face with Arin. "I said fuck off." Dan slammed the door on Arin's face. Dan sat back down in his chair. His head fell onto the table as he started crying. Those same voices filling his head. Dan slammed his hands into his head while reciting "Just get out of me..please!" Dan came out of his office and into the recording room. "Hey Dan! Your...here." "Yeah dumbass, I would think you know after going into my fucking office." Arin's smile faded as Dan commented. Suzy was silent the whole time, as was Barry. "Y-You want to sit down?" "You want to stop fucking your wife loudly at 12 in the morning?" Suzy swiftly walked out, "Well I'm going to get get breakfast, any body want to join me? Barry?" Barry nodded, "Yeah! Coffee sounds great." Barry and Suzy left in a flash as Dan sat down. "So...what's up?" "The ceiling your fucking moron." Arin cleared his throat. "Wanna play some video games?" "Wanna fucking blow me?" "No..." "Then there's your answer." "What do you want to do?" "Go home, then again with your fat ass you won't let me." Dan walked out of the room as Arin leaned over and rubbed his eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

Dan was still in his office, he was quiet except his out burst earlier. Dan was angrily typing out the song. Arin knocked on the door, Dan stopped typing. "What?" "Can we just talk?" Dan sighed as he opened the door, not in the mood to talk. "What do you want?" Arin sat down in the chair across from Dan's. "What's really wrong Dan?" "None of your business." Arin swiftly grabbed Dan's arm, not letting go. "A-Arin let go!" Arin lifted up Dan's sleeve. Arin let go. Dan's sleeve was still up, showing the multiple scars and cut marks. Dan sat back in his chair, looking as if he was scared for his life. "Dan...how long?" Dan muttered, "20.." "What?" "20!" "20 what?" "Years! Okay! I've been 20 years!" "Straight?" "No...it comes and goes, but it's none of your business. I don't know why you are even worried." "Maybe because you are being a total asshole to everybody? Or is it because you are fucking cutting your self!?" Arin sounded angry, he doesn't get angry often. "It was was none of business and look where it got you Arin!" Dan stormed of into the bathroom. Dan pulled out his razor and cut him self 4 times on the arm. His arm was drenched with blood. It started to seep through his jacket. Dan ran out side and said "Do you guys have band aids?" Barry replied "Yeah, kitchen, why?" "No reason-" Suddenly Dan fell onto the ground. Dan was unconscious but everyone surrounded him. "J-Jorey! Call 911!" Jorey ran to grab his phone. 

"U-Uh m-my friend...he's on the floor- I-I don't know if he's dead, just please help!"

"Okay, what's your name?"

"Jorey!"

"Jorey, I want you to stay calm, an ambulance is on their way, what happened?"

The operator heard Barry yell, "He cut him self 4 times!"

"Okay, Jorey I want you and your friend to stay very calm, apply pressure to the wound." Barry put his force on Dan's arm. Suddenly Dan slightly woke up laughing. "hahaha! I-I cut my self hahahahahaha!" Barry said to Jorey, "He-he's in shock!" Jorey spoke over the phone while Barry kept Dan calm. Finally the EMT's arrived and rushed Dan out of the office. Requesting someone to go with them Barry volunteered. Off they went to the hospital with Arin and Jorey following after.


	5. Chapter 5

Arin, Barry and Ross were all by Dan's bed. Dan was still asleep, but he was continuous. Dan slowly opened his eyes. "Huh-w-where am I?" Arin said with a sneer in his voice, "Where you fucking should be, in a hospital. Why did you cut your self again? I told you not to do that! And yet you did it anyway! It's landed you in the hospital. Where you should be." Dan sighed as he crossed his arms. "Why! It's my body!" "Yeah, well it's my fucking office and I could have gotten into serious trouble." "Who cares Arin, you should be thankful I'm alive!" "I am Dan-I-I really am, but god damn it you make it so fucking hard when I have to deal with your shit. I need videos. We need videos. We can't just do something stupid like merch. Yeah we can't promote it but this is a job Daniel. If your not going to do it I will fire you and re hire Jon. He's one click away and we've already discussed this." Dan scoffed, "You fucking called Jon!? Why!? He's in New York! What is he going to do!? He can't just-" "Replace you, if you can't do your job right, I will replace you. That is that, I am going home. Goodbye Dan." Arin walked out of the room leaving Barry and Ross sitting there. "He's a bit right you know Danny." Ross said. "You have been off edge lately, not to mention you haven't been really doing anything-" "I've been writing songs you inconsiderate asshole." Ross put his hands up in defense. "Okay, Okay but that still doesn't resolve you attitude problem." "I've-Just-I have been dealing with this my whole life, and just now I'm experiencing....new feelings...and I can't hold it in any longer. I've been doing this for years, don't think this my first visit." suddenly a nurse came in, "Hey Danny, how have you been?" "Miserable." "What's been going on?" Dan was silent. Dan whispered something, barely audible. "Can they leave so I can tell you?" The nurse nodded. Barry and Ross wee escorted out. "Listen Liz, it's because I've been cutting again. And I got the anxiety back, I'm depressed now and it's all because I'm-" "It's okay Dan, I understand." The nurse held his hand, she was his friend, Elizabeth. "Avi, he would understand. You need to tell him before he finds out the hard way." "He won't, I-I can't date anyone...they wouldn't love me anyways. A tall guy who looks like he's had too much weed that happened to be-" "Dan, listen to be you have to tell Arin as well. Avi, he's one story but you can't keep going on with Arin like this. He will find out, and if he doesn't you'll be fired. That or you will be forced to do your job, he's your boss. Remember that. Now get your stuff I'm taking you home." Elizabeth took all the wires and needles out of Dan and helped him up. He had gauze around his left arm. Dan got dressed and came out. "Lets go...home. I want to go home..not to the office just yet."


	6. Chapter 6

Elizabeth dropped Dan off at the house. "Why don't you come in?" "Oh uh, listen Danny, it's getting late I should go home." "Why can't you come in?" Liz got out of her car and went with Dan. Dan walked in with Arin talking with Suzy. "Hello Suzy, Arin!" Arin has a disturbed look on his face but kept quiet. "Hey...Liz." Dan and Liz went to his room. Both of them sat on the bed and watched TV. "God I remember we used to do this as-" "Kids. Yeah, great right." Dan rested his hand on her cheek, Dan started to kiss Liz. It was going well, and they we about to do it but Dan went to get undressed, he went into the bathroom. He ran into a problem, "L-Liz?" "Yeah Danny?" "I-I.." Dan stuttered, it was so embarrassing. "I can't get it to work!" Finally Dan got ready, it took a bit. Dan came out. He was ready and he got on top of Liz. To Dan, it was so hard, to Liz it was just hot. Dan tried his best, he was so close but instead said, "I-I can't-I'm sorry Liz I really tried okay I'm trying but I just can't." Dan started tearing up. The tear were rolling down his face. Liz and Dan both get their clothes on in a rush. "I-I'm sorry Liz i am..I-I'm sorry-" Liz sat next to Dan and hugged him, "Danny, it's okay. You never have to do anything. I never want to push you to do anything." Dan somewhat smiled. He wiped away the tears and Liz kissed him on his forehead. "I have to go Dan, but relax a little bit from now on. Watch TV." Liz left and Arin came into his room. Dan jumped, "I told you before fucking use you hand and fucking knock." Arin smiled as he sat in the near by chair. "What did you do with Lizzie?" "Nothing, we did nothing." "I don't believe it, you're Dan fucking Avidan man. You don't just bring a girl home and do nothing with her." "I told you Arin, i didn't do anything." "Why not, she's pretty decent." "You are such a fucking pig." Dan walked out into the living room. "Suzy-" "So I'm a pig? How the hell am I that?" Dan turned around, "All you think about is sex! When ever you going to get laid! When ever your going to get your next fucking blowjob! It's disgusting and I'm tired of it!" "So? Does it concern you? Fuck no! It's not your dick is it?" "No! But.." Dan said quietly, "It..it makes me jealous." "It...how the hell?" Dan's eyes widened as he realized what he had just said, and Arin heard everything. Arin stepped back a little, "Why are you?" "Why-Why am I what Arin?" "Jealous, you said you were jealous. Why?" "Because....Because Suzy gets all the attention while i'm just your fucking friend." "Yeah because she's my wife what the hell do you want me to fucking do? Fuck you?" Dan started to cry again. "It's-It's not....it's my fault I'm like this." "Like what Dan?" Dan rested his right hand on his left arm. "I'm gay."


	7. Chapter 7

Dan ran out the door in a hurry. Arin looked at Suzy for reassurance. "Well! Arin, I love you trust me but you need to find him, I know you love him too. Please, just find him." Dan was wondering the streets, he knew on one hand if he went home it would be awkward, and his job could be in jeopardy but if he didn't go home then somebody would HAVE to find him. Dan couldn't make up his mind, all he could think about was how much Arin would hate him. Dan was still choked up about the whole situation. He knew that his dad worked late and...he lives around here....what if he finds him? Dan dipped into a alley. He just needed to recuperate. Dan knew he had to keep going, anywhere just not near Arin. Dan head footsteps behind him. Every time he stopped, they stopped. Dan turned around, he had a black hoodie on. Dan couldn't see his face though. "P-Please...don't h-hurt me." The man took off his hood. It was..Arin. "A-Arin?" Dan's eyes were red from him rubbing them. "Dan..Listen I'm not going to be mad okay? I-I just want to help you.." Dan was confused? "B-But wouldn't you kick me out or something? F-For being gay?" "Listen, it's your ass not mine okay? But, I just want to make sure your arm is okay." Arin grabbed Dan's arm as he slowly lifted up the sleeve. He brushed his hand over Dan's skin making sure the scars have healed. "Their not too bad, but I don't want you wondering. It's dangerous." Dan nodded. "Why don't we go to your Dad's house." Arin parked his car near, when he saw Dan. "Lets go." Dan stayed in his spot. "I-I'm not going." "Why? We have to." "Because, 1 i'm not telling him and 2 I can go live somewhere else than his place." "Well, then stay at ours." "I-I can't." "Why not Dan?!?" "Because......because you live there." "What's wrong with me man?" Dan stayed silent. "How do you even know your gay if you haven't even-" "I-I think I'm in love Arin." "With who?" Dan just started at Arin. Arin got the hint. "W-With-how? I didn't even say anything even-" "You know how you have a boner and then suddenly I get one too?" "Yeah?" "Why do you think that is Arin?" Arin was silent. He knew why. "But Dan.....I-Suzy?" Dan sighed, "That's why I get mad Arin..because you love Suzy and I love you. But I won't stop you from loving Suzy, I will just try finding someone else." "Dan...I..." Arin sighed as he hugged Dan. He never wanted to let go. "Dan I want you to be happy. Maybe...this can work? Somehow...but i have to keep it from Suzy...for now."


	8. Chapter 8

Arin and Dan were in the car on their way to Dan's dad's house.

"Do we seriously have to go to my dad's house Arin?"

"Yes, I want you to tell him! You can't keep hiding this Dan."

"Yes I can Arin, I have been for years."

Arin sighed as he pulled over.

"Listen you have to tell him Dan!"

"Arin? Why are you yelling?"

"Because you stressing me out! First your at the hospital! Then you say you love me! And now were fighting!"

"That's because you worry too much Arin! I'm your friend and thats it!"

"OBVIOUSLY ITS NOT BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU LOVE ME!"

"FINE ARIN! YOU WIN! HAPPY?! I DON"T KNOW WHAT TO FUCKING SAY! YEAH I WANT YOU TO FUCK ME! IS THAT IT? IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?!"

Arin yelled, "THAT'S IT! I'M DONE! YOUR FIRED!"

All emotion dropped from Dan's face. "W-What??"

Arin looked over at him, huffing with anger, "You. Are. Fired. Gone, no more! If you show up at the grumps office I will have you removed."

"Arin-Arin you can't do this!"

"Really? Watch me. Get out of the car you walking home, your stuff will be in the lawn."

Dan couldn't believe this was happening. He wanted nothing more to just be gone. To vaporize into thin air.

"Arin please?"

Arin looked at him, "Get. the fuck, out of my car."

Dan got out as Arin drove off. Dan walked to what was his house.. All of his stuff was completely scattered. He packed what he could. Dan sat at the curb with his stuff as he cried. Suddenly...Suzy came up to Dan.

"Hey Dan...I'm sorry Arin lashed out at you...he still doesn't want you....anywhere near him but, I'm really sorry he acted that way."

"I-It's f-fine."

Suzy went back inside. Dan sighed as he had to find somewhere to go. Dan snuck into the office, he grabbed a blanket and put his bag down as he slept on the grumps couch. The next morning he heard voices,

"I didn't want to have to do this to you Dan. He's right there, get him off the premises."

Soon he was getting grabbed by the arms of too men. They dragged him out while he screamed,

"Arin! Arin you can't fucking do this! Please! I have no where to go!" "Sorry Dan, your fault not mine." As they threw Dan out of the building Allie said, "You such a fucking asshole Arin! You didn't have to do that to Dan!"

"I've gone over this already, Dan is no longer allowed here and-"

A man cleared his throat and said,

"Arin?"

"Oh..hey Jon, guys this is Jon. My old friend."

Jon whispered, "Why was Dan getting carried out?"

Allie replied, "See? Even Jon isn't okay with it."

"S-Sorry I didn't mean to cause any problems really, Arin just called me."

"I'm Allie...I'm sorry to hear that your working with this dickhead."

"Don't make me fire you next."

Allie sighed as he walked back to her office. Arin walked into the recording room alone. Jon followed him after and sat down.

What's wrong?"

"I don't know, I feel like I just made a bad decision."

Jon sighed. "Listen, you were a bit...much with throwing Dan out." "Yeah but like...maybe I do love him."

"Do you want to fuck him?" Arin was silent.

"So yes?" "But I love Suzy!" "Ever heard of being bisexual?" "I know Jon, I know just....fuck! I don't know man....I don't know what to do. I love Suzy but god damn...maybe I love Dan too." "Just relax for a few days."


	9. Chapter 9

"Sir...I'm afraid you can't stay here anymore, we are loosing customers." Dan sighed as he stood up. He wanted to avoid his father at all costs but...he couldn't. "Avi.." "Oh hey Dan!" "Avi...can I stay home for a bit?" "Of cource, can I ask why?" "Uh..I'll tell you in the car." "Okay Dan! Ehhh-bye!" "Bye Avi." Dan sighed as he teared up. "FUCK!" Dan yelled as he cried. Dan wiped away the tears as Avi's car showed up. He threw his stuff in the trunk. He slammed the car door not wanting to talk. "You okay Dan?" "I don't want to talk about it." "Do you want to with Debbie?" "Oh fuck off Avi! Maybe if you didn't control my fucking life so much I wouldn't go to your fucking wife." "Dan that is no way to talk to me!" "Then do something about rather than bite your tongue...grow a fucking set!" The rest of the trip home was silent, and Dan refused to talk to Avi. He slammed his door shut and locked it. Debbie knocked, "Dan? Hon-are you okay?" Dan opened his door and said, "Don't tell Avi anything or I will never come back." Debbie stepped inside as she locked the door. "Who hurt you?" "Y'know Arin?" "yes, your friend correct?" "Yeah." Dan's voice trembled as he fought not to cry, "Well..he fired me." Oh no. "And he kicked me out." Here it comes. "And I can't hide this anymore." And here it is, Dan breaks down and cry's. "I-I think I love him and tried mom,I tried to not be gay! B-But I can't, and I'm sorry I let you down." Mom, that word...he only use it when he was extremely upset. "I'm in love with my best friend and, I started to cut again and then I went to the hospital. I-I'm so sorry." Debbie grabbed Dan and embraced him with a hug. "Dan...I-I....Have you told him?" "Yeah..that's why he fired me, well one of the reasons." Dan sighed as he just laid in his bed and said, "Just...give me a few days." Debbie nodded as she closed his door. Dan grabbed his phone, calling one of his closest friends. "B-Brian? Can you come over?" 

"Next time on game grumps! Me and Arin talk about other shit!" Jon turned off the camera before looking at Arin. "What's wrong Arin, you were off the whole episode." "I-I don't know Jon okay? I just feel really-I-I just bad for yelling at him...I didn't mean but, damn it I'm fucking married. I can't just have another relationship." "Listen, I..I don't want to replace Danny in any way but all I can do is help Arin. This is your fight not mine. i will support you decision but, I'm not doing you dirty work. You already did that to me when we started." Jon left to go home as Arin shut down the office lights. He sat in the darkness sitting on one of the steps. His hands were in his hair as he tried to think of a way to fix this situation.


	10. Chapter 10

Brian rubbed Dan's back as he cried. "I-I'm so sorry Brian...I'm such a screw up..." "Hey! You are not a screw up Danny, you are one of the nicest guys out there. If Arin can't see that just because he's homophobic then he's not worth your time. Listen I know you love him, but you need to get over him. He's an asshole boss, even Allie said so. Since you left he hasn't been the same." "Ehhh-Danny?" "What Avi?" "S-Someone's here to see you..." "F-Fine.." "He wants to see you outside.." Danny huffed as he walked out. His back was turned. "O-Oh hey Dan...." "What are you doing here." "Listen, I know I'm the last person you want to see-" "He hired you to replace me right?" Dan said as he sniffled. "I-I didn't want to." "Your lying!" "Dan, I know I was hired first, but believe me, I tried to convince him, I-I never wanted to replace you. I-I want to go back home, I-I want to see my birds, my wife, I-I don't want this. Arin....Arin made a really stupid decision and...your going to hate it." "What did he do?" Dan ask as he held his arms. "Well, he divorced Suzy." Dan's eyes widened. "W-Why? I-I thought he loved her." "Well, he wants.....he wants to talk to you." "I'm not going to talk to him! You know what?! Jon, go tell him that I never want to see him again." "Danny...Please? I-I want to go home. I-I know you have a thing for him but, it's about that." "Jon, I can't..." Jon put his hand on Dan's shoulder. "Listen, I know you hate him, but believe me he is a mess without you." "Th-Then He'll have to live without me!" Jon sighed, "I'm not asking you to go back, just talk to him." Dan huffed. "F-Fine." Jon nodded. "I'm sorry on Arin's part Dan." Dan hugged Jon. "You're a cool guy Jon, I respect you but, Arin is a different story." Jon patted Dan's back, "Just take it easy on yourself." Dan nodded as he went back inside. "What's wrong?" Brian asked. "I'm going to see Arin." "O-Okay do you-" "No, I don't I want to go alone." Brian nodded. "Okay." Dan got his shoes on as he got into the car diving to the office. He knocked. Allie let him in. Dan went into Arin's office as he wasn't there. Arin came back. His face was red, his eyes were puffy. Dan saw pornhub on his computer. It wasn't alarming, if it wasn't gay porn. Arin sat in the chair as he cleared his tabs. "Why did you want me here Arin?" "I-I want to say sorry.." "Sorry for what?" "Sorry that I treated you like a dickhead." "Why are your eyes red?" "No sleep." "What?" "I've been sleeping here for the past few days." "Why didn't you go home?" "I-I just don't want to." "What's that." Dan pointed to the box. Arin usually kept his toys in there but it was a jacket, Dan's jacket. "Isn't that my-" "No, it's not. It's J-Joreys." Dan grabbed it. "Dude this is mine. It has my fucking name in it." Arin looked at Dan with tears in his eyes. "C-Cant you just let me keep it for one more day? P-Please?" "Why?" "I-I just like it.." "Arin you and I both know that's not true." Dan saw tears rolling down Arin's face. "B-Because it smells like you..A-And I like sniffing it..And I can't sleep without it." "You can't sleep with out it?" "No..I-I can't." Arin said as he took it. "Arin you like fucking-" "Th-Thirty one I-I know.." "And that on your computer?" "It was just porn.." "Gay porn?" Arin cried harder. "I-I'm sorry Danny...R-Really I am. I-I just miss you Danny...I-I-I'm so sorry.." Arin hardly ever calls Dan, Danny. Only when he's really upset. Arin cried into his hands as Dan saw that Arin was hurt by this. He felt so guilty of what he did. Dan let Arin alone as Arin laid on the couch and cried clutching Dan's jacket close to him. He patted Arin's back as Dan sat next to Allie. "He's-He's been sleeping at the office?" "He is?! Damn him, I told him to stop." "No, I-I just..Allie I just wanted to know why?" "Suzy..has mixed feelings about hm right now." "What do you mean?" "She blames him for leaving you vulnerable. And he fired you so one more thing to be angry at him." Dan nodded as he went back to Arin's office. Arin was fast asleep. Everyone was saying that Arin was always sleeping instead of working. Arin had the Jacket draped over him as he slept with one of the sleeves near his face. Dan quietly shut the door as he cuddled next to Arin's back. Dan felt somewhat bad for Arin. They weren't exactly on good terms per say but for now Dan could forgive Arin.


	11. Chapter 11

Arin sighed as he started to wake up. He felt Dan's warm arms wrapped around him. He sighed as he didn't want to get up.

"Mornin' big cat.."

he heard Dan groan. Arin laughed as little as he turned in front of Dan. Dan got up a little as both of them at up against the wall. Arin put his head into his hands as he said, "I...Danny..."

"What's up?" Dan said with a little attitude in his voice. Dan was still pissed at Arin. He was going to be mad for a while. "I..I want to go out with you tonight." Dan rolled his eyes. "

So let me get this straight, I come back to talk to you. And all of a sudden your falling for me?"

"N-No...I mean yes b-but not as a date just...so we can talk...and I-I want to make it up to you-"

"Well then you have a long fucking way to go to build my trust." "I-I know, I know. I know it's not going to be easy."

Dan crossed his arms. "S-So?"

"Fine!" Dan spat. "I'll fucking eat dinner with you I guess.."

Arin smiled "Th-Thanks Danny!"

Dan scoffed as he left his office heading back to his car. "Fuck!"

Dan cursed. For one thing he was pissed at Arin that he would ask such a thing after the shit he pulled, but..once again...he was falling for Arin. He didn't know why, he just..found something about Arin that was captivating. Arin sighed as he drove back to the house. Dan stormed through the door as Avi approached him.

"D-Dan?"

"What Avi?" Dan said with an attitude.

"A-Are you okay now?"

"I'm fine Avi.."

"Okay Dan. I-I'm sorry if I made you ehhh....a-angry.." Dan smiled,

"Avi, I love you. I wouldn't be couldn't be angry at you.." Avi nodded.

"You're a good kid Dan.." Dan sighed as he laid on his bed calling Brian. "Hey, how'd it go buddy?"

"He asked me on a fucking date."

"Oh boy, Danny, I really am sorry.."

"This wouldn't have happened if..." Brian could hear Dan start to cry, "This wouldn't have happened If he had just accepted me at the time!"

"Danny, Danny, Calm down buddy. It's okay. You have the right to go and screaming the living hell out of him."

"Yeah, I know..I-I'm just nervous." "Listen, just stay calm." "W-Well, I have to go but yeah." Dan put on a sweater, He just wanted to get this stupid dinner over. 

Dan sat patiently at the table, putting off the pretty waitress. "Can I help you sir?"

"P-Please five more minutes?" She sat in front of him. "Why are you here?"

"Meeting a friend?"

"Honey are you on a date?"

"No, I-I just need to talk with him."

"A-Arin!" Arin hugged Dan.

He sat down as the waitress got up.

"Drinks?" Arin looked over, "Uh..Danny?"

"Just a cup of apple juice.." She nodded looking at Arin. "J-Just some pepsi.."

She nodded. "Why did you want to come here?"

"I know you don't have anywhere to live." Danny sighed,

"I want to get you an apartment."

Danny looked up. "You don't-"

"I know I don't, but I want to so please."

Dan nodded as Arin talked. Dan kinda just gazed at him. Arin talking seriously, not trying to be funny. Genuinely smiling, something he hasn't seen for a while. Dan stared for a long while he liked seeing Arin's smile. Arin sighed, Dan heard a glimpse of what Arin said, now paying attention.

"I've been completely miserable without you...I-I know I was a dick but, y-you really never know how much you need a person until their gone. I-I don't know if I consider myself gay or bisexual but, with you and me it's different than having Suzy. It's weird because I feel really fuzzy around you, and I just freak out. I-I can't talk to people and I'm sorry. I should have just left you alone, like you asked, but i was so scared. I-I didn't want you to die. I didn't want to see the person I loved the most to die right in front of my eyes."

Dan felt Arin's hand hold him tight.

"I could never forgive myself for doing that to you...I hurt you so damn bad. A-And to think after that you deserved it, you don't deserve some scumbag like me.."

Dan leaned over the table kissing Arin. Dan handed Arin the fifty dollars as he sat in Arin's car, waiting for him. He wanted to talk before he left, instead of listening.

Arin came out as he sat in the car. He gave Dan a worried look. "I-I should have paid-" Dan grabbed Arin's neck, kissing him more. Arin kissed him back as Dan let go. "I'm sorry too Arin, I-I was over reacting a bit. We have to move on, b-but i understand if you don't want me on the show-" "I-I do! I-I do!" Dan sighed, "Good, now where's that apartment?" Arin smiled, "I-It's downtown."   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based off of the song creep by radiohead


	12. Chapter 12

"Okay, that's the last of it.." "Done?" "Yep." Dan nodded. "You gonna be alright?" Dan was still kinda sour to Arin. "I'm fine.." "I'm just making sure." "Arin, I'm thirty fucking five, I can take care of myself.." Arin sighed as he nodded. "Okay, but if you need anything, you have my number man.." Dan nodded as he sat on the couch, tired, and kinda of lonely. Dan quietly trailed into his room as he stared at his computer. He sat at the desk as he played a video at full volume as he just sat there listening to his music. It was one of the only things to make him feel amazing. He must've been up all night listening to 80's music. Dan got up as he turned it off. He decided that he was going to leave everything behind. Dan was going to live better, he wasn't going to sulk about the past, he was going to live in the moment and enjoy every minute he had. As Dan took a good shower he put on the best clothes he could find. A vibrant Hawaiian shirt some shorts and some shades. He was gonna just relax, today was about him. Dan came out side as he smiled, Today was going to be a good day. 

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"I want a divorce.." "What?!" Suzy exclaimed. "I want a divorce Suzy..." "Why? Arin..Arin I thought we were fine! C'mon we can talk about this!" "There's nothing to talk about!" Arin yelled. "I want a fucking divorce! That's it!" "Did i do something? Say something? What did I do?!" "S-Suzy, It's not you that the problem! It's me! Okay?! I...I just don't want to see anyone right now..I-I know your not going to understand okay?" Suzy nodded, her mascara running off of her face as she signed it. Arin sighed as he went into his office. He knew that this was going to be hard for Suzy, but right now it was the best for Arin. Arin sighed as he continued drawing. Drawing made everything better..right? Right? Arin started to cry, just letting out all his bottled up emotions, he wanted to scream and punch himself for being so stupid. He shouldn't have been crying though, because Dan was the one that was hurting, he hurt Dan badly and now he may never get that back. Arin got up as he clenched his teeth. Arin grabbed his writing tablet as he chucked it across the room. Arin heard it crack as he snapped his pen in half. He kicked the chair as he screamed. "FUCK!" He yelled. He collapsed onto the floor as he couldn't take it. Arin hit his head against his knees. He felt terrible knowing that he caused all this and it was all his god damn fault just because of one thing he said.  
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Suzy cried on the bed, she didn't know where she went wrong. Her and Arin have been good p until now...up until Dan left work. Maybe it was that she wasn't paying enough attention to Arin. Or maybe it was that she didn't go on dates with him enough, something was happening and she wanted to know what. He said it was him, but what about him changed, did they fall out of love? Suzy didn't know but for now..might as well sleep on it...there was plenty of time in the morning.   
  
  
  
  
**  
AN: ITS BEEN SO LONG IK! But im back baby!**


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